When we are younger we think our friends will be there for us throughout our entire lives. You go through elementary school, middle school, and high school together. These are friends you’ve known for 12 plus years, there’s no way you can see your life without them. But, you go to college, possibly not to the same college, and maybe hundreds, possibly thousands of miles away from one another. The first year still seems like nothing has changed in these friendships, but once you start making more friends in college, and the more you grow, you start to drift further apart from each other. You probably don’t notice this at first, and won’t until you leave college. I get it, it sucks, and it can hurt. Not understanding how you were all really close, then out of nowhere, it seems most of you don’t talk anymore. And to be honest, it’s perfectly ok if that happens.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost childhood friends, but I’ve also gained many friends as an adult. Sometimes hanging on to childhood friends isn’t the healthiest for you. There’s a possibility you might not have the same goals, interests, or lifestyles anymore. It’s unfortunate, and maybe a bit rude, but I’ve let some friendships go because I didn’t want a negative influence in my life. Plus there’s a possibility we might not be in the same stages of life. I don’t have any interest in binge drinking every weekend at a club, or doing a bunch of coke to stay up all night. That doesn’t interest me anymore. I’m more willing to meet up for dinner, drink a fancy cocktail at the new bar in the neighborhood, and be home by 10:30 pm. This is where most of my adult friends and I are at in life right now. That’s not to say some weekends we don’t get the urge to go absolutely wild, but those are far and few between. The conversations are also much different. All conversations are about the present, or what you’re looking forward to accomplishing in the future. Not a rehash of some random Friday night back in 2005. Those conversations get old.
You’re not a terrible person wanting to end those friendships, or not be in touch as much. Some friendships are only meant to be temporary, or happen for a specific part of your life. And if you’re not the one who ended the friendship, don’t take it personally. Just appreciate the good times that came from that friendship, and maybe down the road, you can reconnect. I think it’s natural at first to be disheartened by this, but as I’ve gotten older, and more mature, I value the strong friendships I have now. I might not have a lot of childhood friendships currently, but maybe we’ll reconnect down the road.