For the past six months, I’m not going to lie; I’ve been living off of unemployment. That means my income has been cut, and I’ve had to budget myself more strictly than I was previously. Not that I was living outside of means before losing my job, but weekends out, delivery, eating out, impulse shopping trips, concerts, are more limited than before. However, shortly after I was turning down a lot of opportunities over the summer, and just overall having a difficult time dealing with a more limited social life. Nothing sucks more than your friends inviting you out, and you have to turn it down because you simply can’t afford to.
Maybe stupidly, I did attend all concerts and music festivals that I had purchased tickets to. And trust me, all tickets were bought way in advance of me losing my job so tickets were not an impulse buy. But you know what, it was important for me to actually get out of the house and do something. Also, I wouldn’t have gotten anything in resale value from them anyways. When you’re feeling low about yourself, it feels good to forget about it for one night, or three days. I did have to plan several weeks ahead to make sure I would have enough money for food, beer, water, and maybe a shirt or two. To me, it was well worth it to keep and use all tickets I had purchased. I should note I mainly go to punk shows so I spend maybe $30 to $40 (top tier band i.e. Descendents, Bad Religion) per a ticket max. And sometimes you want to do a little bit more than go to a show.
I do miss being able to just go out and buy new makeup, clothes, records, or go get my hair done. Not that these things matter in the grand scheme of things, but now I realize how lucky I was to just to be able to go to Sephora and buy a new lipstick. But, I have come to the conclusion, sometimes you do have to break a “no buy”, or just treat yo self a little. Seriously, I know it’s stupid, but buying a new eyeshadow palette kind of gave me something to look forward to in the morning. I was having fun playing with makeup, and giving myself a small confidence boost. And for me, that’s important when you’re feeling like the biggest loser on the planet. You can only guilt yourself so much before you just have to go out and do something. Whether that’s eating lunch or dinner out, drinks with a friend, purchasing a new item, you just need to feel good about yourself. I knew I’m just going through a storm called chaos, but this to shall pass. Everything will turn around; it’s just a matter of time.