I’m not going to lie; I was probably slightly drunk when I had the thought process of what I would name my blog. It was after a night out with a friend that was pushing the fact I should start a blog. My excuses were, I didn’t have anything to write about, and I didn’t know what I should write about. As you can see, this blog just seems to be one long stream of consciousness, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it remained that way. Anyways, I continued thinking about starting a blog, and what I would write about, but I also realized I would need a name. What the hell would I call this thing? I had no idea. What is the theme? There’s always a theme.
After being fired from my job in May, it took a huge toll on me mentally. It also sucks knowing there was nothing you could do to save your job, and why you were being fired wasn’t your fault. I’m sure everyone says that too. Corporate office politics are real, and it’s better to cover your face in shit from ass kissing than to speak up. Huge lesson learned for me. But, in all honesty, this past job was very taxing mentally for the past three years I was there. I had the digital marketing experience needed for the role, but it didn’t matter. I brought ideas to the table, but it didn’t matter if I brought them, management made it clear they didn’t like me. So I lost a huge amount of confidence there. I didn’t think I was smart enough and still don’t. I felt like I was always doing something wrong. I was never told my work was any good, only by my agents who I worked with, but never by management. The whole thing sucked. So for the past three years, I was trying to find my footing then in May, I had all of that pulled out from under me. I was shocked, I had done the work, I asked why none of the issues were presented to me while under review? But, it was in Salesforce so therefore I should have known what was needed. It was at that point it was clear, no matter what I did management wanted me out.
I have spent hours going over everything of what I could have done differently, and there is nothing. So all I have to do now is get back on the horse. Trust me, when I say it is really hard to believe in yourself or have confidence when you’ve been beaten down for three years. So when thinking of a name for this blog, I was thinking of ideas. What would I write about? What kind of content did I want to put out? How personal did I want to get? And I kept coming back to the name Building the Girl. My goal is to come back stronger. That’s the whole premise of this is hopefully I can get some footing, and start feeling better about myself. Beginning of the year I was telling myself 2017 was going to be my year. It hasn’t been yet so far, but hopefully, things can change before the end of the year. I’m trying to focus on a positive attitude, and build myself back up. That is my goal, and focus of this blog. My journey of still discovering myself, and getting back my confidence slowly, but surely will be the main focus. Kind of a how Kim got her groove back, but not quite like that.